The Life Update No One Asked For

Hello everyone, 

I hope you're keeping well in such strange times. If you're reading this it means I've finally published something I started writing four months ago! You're probably not as surprised as I am...However lets get into it. 

So 2020 is the year we're all writing off. We didn't age and it didn't happen, but it was definitely the year we all learnt something. That's probably as deep a sentence a I'm going to attempt to write in this point or I'd be a hypocrite. Actually I'm definitely a hypocrite, I can sit here and say it. I put a lot into being there for people, but would never take that advice myself. This will come as a surprise to no one. 

It comes however with the best of intentions. I've written a couple of posts with titles like New Year New Me, or more commonly New Year Same Me, (they now sound very cheesy) which seem to all occur within the first few months of the year. And whilst things are definitely changing over the years as I grow I have now accepted that my calling is not to be a lifestyle motivational blogger, least of all to myself. 

I think I wrote them for me as a way to just vent, but I don't need to sit here and write posts about me to me even if they came from a good place (with some great song suggestions). I think the focus now more than ever needs to be on looking out for each other and fostering these connections. 

Furlough was an interesting time for everyone. It was unexpected and unprecedented and we all adapted in our own way. There was a time when I wasn't able to work when I felt like I should be doing something with every moment to make the use of it when all I really wanted to do was sit and re-watch Once Upon A Time (I kept asking myself why and then Killian Jones popped up). It was also the first time in nearly 12 years where I'd not been working two or three jobs at the same time and my body could do with the time to just do nothing. I know 100% this smacks of privilege, but I think we all learnt the proper value of taking care of body and of mind in this time. There were good days and many bad days and it with the support system that I built around me that I was able to find a god balance. 

I don't know about anyone else but I found it so hard to read. HOW! I kept saying to myself, this was my thing, my life, I have a library full of books that I need to get through. But I couldn't seen to focus on one book...I couldn't write the reviews I need to post and I couldn't bring myself to take pictures for Instagram (unless they were of me which apparently was very easy. What does that say huh!) These were all things I wanted to be doing but again had to accept that it was OK if I didn't. Putting extra pressure on myself in an already pressurised situation was not the way forward.

But I find I'm always thinking about it, the niggling voice in the back of my head and I'm starting to get back into the swing of things. I'm starting to find my groove. This is the first step and it might not be on the level I'd first imagined but I'm starting to be more realistic with what I know I can achieve. My ideas have always been bigger and grander than what I'm putting out but I'm not going to stop aiming and dreaming and one day I might just have read and reviewed all the books in my library ;-)

But I can't leave things there...music has played a very important part of my lock down and I love sharing what I've been listening too so here is a small selection! 

I love Aly & Aj and they just keep setting us up with banger after banger like this evocative dance synth classic

Jojo was the isolation gift that kept on giving! The new album of which I bought a signed copy when drunk, and the the acoustic album! She is a fantastic speaker as well as musician and all hail Jojo!

Just when I thought nothing else could make my moth The Veronicas CAME THROUGH WITH THIS JAM!

I could keep going. I went back through a lot of albums and throw backs and would really let myself give into the music to bring out positive vibes! Or if I was feeling some kind of way. Music is power and some songs are just super powerful so I'm going to leave you with a song from a musical that I just kept going back and back and back to! 

Here's to staying in touch!